friend or foe?

“Oh my gosh, what an amazing opportunity! Are you so excited?” While I’m often confronted with similar reactions, I’m not always as equally enthused with my response. I often wonder whether this journey will be emotionally “doable.” Is that even a word?!?! I reflect back often to my time in Japan and while sometimes I feel empowered and ready to jump on a plane, there are many times that I feel ready to run for the hills and pretend that this life is not my own. It all feels very surreal. While I recall many days of struggle and disappointment in Japan, I also feel as though I could do better this time around. A real optimist I am…depending on the day. In Japan, I knew myself as an adult, educated, independent woman feeling as though I was four years old all over again unable to do the simplest of tasks so normal and everyday routine in the eyes of the Japanese. I suppose the saying is true,“When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman. If anything, it was quite humbling. And while the struggles were consuming, I somehow find myself wondering if this opportunity was meant more for me and not my husband. And while there were so many times I was going crazy inside myself, I also find that I would never change my experience or the time I spent there either. Quite an ironic experience in that the highs were higher and the lows were lower. Through the words of comfort that only my brother could give,”That is how you know you are living.”

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